American Mythology, Men, and Morality
“I have spent my life judging the distance between American reality and the American dream.” – Bruce Springsteen I was introduced to Bruce through Elizabeth Wurtzel. At thirteen, strolling the aisles at the local Barnes and Noble bookstore chain with my family in tow, waiting for a table at the Italian restaurant chain around the…
Mountains, mirrors, and portals
Tignes, France I understand now why people say the mountain air is healing. Stepping foot off the train I immediately felt cleansed, but the remnants are still sticking to me. The unfamiliarly of every aspect of this atmosphere making me feel like a dried up fish out of water, too soon after being a fish…
Solitude and other horrors
“Instead of obtaining myself by fleeing, I find myself forsaken, alone, tossed into a dimensionless cubicle, where light and shadow are quiet ghosts. In my interior I find the the silence I seek. But in it I become so lost from any memory of a human being and of myself that I make this impression…
Secrecy: Hieroglyphics and indecipherable codes
“The little girl’s sense of secrecy that developed at prepuberty only grows in importance. She closes herself up in a fierce solitude: she refuses to reveal to those around her the hidden self that she considers to be her real self and that is in fact an imaginary character: she plays at being a dancer…
Somewhere: Between sheets
“Freedom isn’t enough. What I desire doesn’t have a name yet.” – Clarice Lispector, Near to the Wild Heart I once wrote that I’ll know I’m free of you when I stop listening to your song to fall asleep. When I stop searching for your arms in everyone who shares my bed, stop searching for your…
Solitude: The invisible thread
“You live your life as if it’s real… The evidence accumulates that you’re not running the show. You still have to make choices as if you were running the show, but you make your choices with the intuitive understanding that it’s unfolding as it must… And if you can relax in that… if you can…
Dear F: From the Beginning
“And the day came when the risk to remain tight in a bud was more painful than the risk it took to blossom. Life is a process of becoming, a combination of states we have to go through. Where people fail is that they wish to elect a state and remain in it. This is…
Solitude Came First: A Female Steppenwolf
“Solitude is independence. It has been my wish and with the years I had attained it. It was cold. Oh, cold enough! But it was also still, wonderfully still and vast like the cold stillness of space in which the stars revolve… From a dance-hall there met me as I passed by the strains of…
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Solitude and Sex 